Bleach in Wonderland
by Spottedmask77
Summary: A random idea that came to me when I was bored. No pairings. Just your normal Alice in Wonderland parody.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I'm sad. Last time I checked, there were not five reviews. I thank you, **dukefan01 **and **ColorMeEmo. **IF YOU READERS WANT RECOGNIZEMENT, THEN REVIEW!**

**As you all know, I am niether Lewis Carrol (he's dead) nor Tite Kubo (I'm typing in English. Wait, can Tite Kubo read/write/understand English? O_O) so I don't own Bleach or Alice in Wonderland.**

**And now back to the fanfic! **

* * *

_Huh, _Uryu Ishida thought as he fell down the snake hole. _I didn't expect this to happen today. _

Uryu quietly contemplated life. _Why am I here? Am I good? Or am I...evil?_

Who knows where that came from.

Anyway, as Uryu questioned his meaning in the world, he fell smack on his ass in the very bottom of the hole.

"Ow!" he complained, rubbing his butt as he stood up. Looking around, he saw a small door. And by small, I mean it was from a minature dollhouse. Uryu sighed.

"Great, now I'm stuck," he muttered. Suddenly, the strange white-haired man fell and crushed Uryu.

"Oh...my spleen..."Uryu weezed.

"Oh, hello there!" the white-haired man said brightly. "I'm the White Rabbit! But you can call me Ukitake!"

"You don't look like a rabbit," Uryu said skeptically. "Besides, didn't I kick your head?"

Ukitake didn't absorb anything Uryu said. "Would you like some candy?"

"...excuse me?" Uryu asked politely. "I'm not a kid, you know."

"So that's a yes?"

Uryu took the candy out of pure frustration. As he was that wierd kid who always checked the labels, he, well, checked the labels. On the side of the wrapper, it said: **Dr. Mayuri Kurotsuchi's Wonder Candy**

Uryu gulped. "On second thought, I don't want it."

"But it will make you big and strong!" Ukitake pouted.

"I don't care about that stuff," Uryu said with a sigh.

_ Hmmmm, _Ukitake thought to himself. _Now what would a strange kid like that enjoy...I'VE GOT IT!_

"This special candy," announced Ukitake, lying through his teeth. "Will increase a person's sewing skill TENFOLD!"

Uryu grabbed the candy and gulped it down in one bite (don't try that at home, kids!).

"Ugh..." he moaned. "I don't feel so good..."

* * *

**So there you have it! By the end of this chapter, I'm hoping to have five reviews. Not five MORE, five TOTAL. That's how much I care about you readers. But please, if you're bothering to read the story then leave a review, won't you?**

**As inspiration strikes. ~Spottedmask77**

**AND PLEASE OH PLEASE CHEACK OUT MY OTHER FANFICS! THANK YOU ALL!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, I'm sad. Last time I checked, there were not five reviews. I thank you, **dukefan01 **and **ColorMeEmo. **IF YOU READERS WANT RECOGNIZEMENT, THEN REVIEW!**

**As you all know, I am niether Lewis Carrol (he's dead) nor Tite Kubo (I'm typing in English. Wait, can Tite Kubo read/write/understand English? O_O) so I don't own Bleach or Alice in Wonderland.**

**And now back to the fanfic! **

* * *

_Huh, _Uryu Ishida thought as he fell down the snake hole. _I didn't expect this to happen today. _

Uryu quietly contemplated life. _Why am I here? Am I good? Or am I...evil?_

Who knows where that came from.

Anyway, as Uryu questioned his meaning in the world, he fell smack on his ass in the very bottom of the hole.

"Ow!" he complained, rubbing his butt as he stood up. Looking around, he saw a small door. And by small, I mean it was from a minature dollhouse. Uryu sighed.

"Great, now I'm stuck," he muttered. Suddenly, the strange white-haired man fell and crushed Uryu.

"Oh...my spleen..."Uryu weezed.

"Oh, hello there!" the white-haired man said brightly. "I'm the White Rabbit! But you can call me Ukitake!"

"You don't look like a rabbit," Uryu said skeptically. "Besides, didn't I kick your head?"

Ukitake didn't absorb anything Uryu said. "Would you like some candy?"

"...excuse me?" Uryu asked politely. "I'm not a kid, you know."

"So that's a yes?"

Uryu took the candy out of pure frustration. As he was that wierd kid who always checked the labels, he, well, checked the labels. On the side of the wrapper, it said: **Dr. Mayuri Kurotsuchi's Wonder Candy**

Uryu gulped. "On second thought, I don't want it."

"But it will make you big and strong!" Ukitake pouted.

"I don't care about that stuff," Uryu said with a sigh.

_ Hmmmm, _Ukitake thought to himself. _Now what would a strange kid like that enjoy...I'VE GOT IT!_

"This special candy," announced Ukitake, lying through his teeth. "Will increase a person's sewing skill TENFOLD!"

Uryu grabbed the candy and gulped it down in one bite (don't try that at home, kids!).

"Ugh..." he moaned. "I don't feel so good..."

* * *

**So there you have it! By the end of this chapter, I'm hoping to have five reviews. Not five MORE, five TOTAL. That's how much I care about you readers. But please, if you're bothering to read the story then leave a review, won't you?**

**As inspiration strikes. ~Spottedmask77**

**AND PLEASE OH PLEASE CHEACK OUT MY OTHER FANFICS! THANK YOU ALL!**


	3. Chapter 3

**YAY! SIX REVIEWS! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!**

***Ahem* I mean, I thank **dukefan01**, **ColorMeEmo**,** Moon the Eevee**, and **Isame Kuroda **for taking the time to review. You guys are the best!**

**Again, I don't own Bleach or Alice in Wonderland. Or Inuyasha.**

**Anyway...back to the parody! Enjoy!**

* * *

"GAH!" Uryu shrieked as he looked down at his body. He...was...A GIANT! Ukitake the White Rabbit looked up at him with mild interest.

"Oh my," he simply said. Uryu looked down at him.

"YOU!"

Uryu proceeded to try to stomp Ukitake into the ground.

"No! Wait! Stop! (Dear Huecos Mundos, I'm still late!) I have a solution!" Ukitake shrieked in desperation. "How about some more candy? Don't kids LOVE candy?"

"Shut up!" Uryu yelled at him angrily. "The stupid 'Wonder candy' did nothing for my sewing skills! You liar! And it made me a giant!"

"But I know how you can become normal sized again!" Ukitake pleaded, dodging Uyru's foot.

"Oh really?!"

"Yes! Just drink this!" Ukitake grabbed a drink out of his pocket. On the side, it read:** Dr. Mayuri Kurotsuchi's Wonder Drink**.

"I'm not falling for that again!" Uryu shouted.

Ukitake shrugged nervously. "I guess you won't be leaving through the door then..."

"Door?"

The white rabbit Ukitake gestured at a tiny doorway at the floor. Crouching down, Uryu put his eye to the doorway. Through it, he saw a fertile countryside that looked kind of like feudal Japan.

"Aw, I knew it," Uryu sighed in relief. "It's just a dream. I really should stop watching Inuyasha before bed..."

"What?" Ukitake said, confused. "That's Wonderland!

"Dammit."

"Language, young man!" Ukitake warned. "Now, do you want the drink or not?"

_What the heck? _Uryu thought to himself. _What's the worst that could happen?_

Obviously, Uryu had learned nothing.

Anyway, Ukitake tossed him the drink, which Uryu poured down his giant throat. He felt another tingling in his stomach, and closed his eyes.

Opening his eyes, he saw the giant foot of Ukitake.

"Now you can go through the door!" Ukitake said in a deep, slow voice. Slowly, he took out another drink and pured it down his throat. He shrunk down to Uryu's size in no time.

Uryu punched him in the nose.

"Owie..." Ukitake sniffled. "And you seemed like such a nice boy..."

"Hmph," Uryu replied. "Don't you have to be somewhere?"

Ukitake looked at his watch. "Huecos Mundos! You're right! I'm really, really late! I might lose my head for this!"

He pushed past Uryu, running into the countryside.

_There's not much to lose besides your skull, _Uryu thought to himself.

"Oh well," Uryu said aloud. "I guess I'll just go as well..."

Uryu walked through the doorway.

* * *

**Longer than usual, but that's not a bad thing! I won't be able to update for a week or two, but I'll continue as soon as I get back.**

**I appreciate reviews!**

**As inspiration strikes. ~Spottedmask77**


	4. Chapter 4

**Gah...this is WAY too late...I apologize, everyone out there! Also, I realized that I messed up the story. WHATEVES.**

**Many thanks for reviewing!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Ukitake pushed Uryu BACK through the doorway.

"Oh dear," he tittired. "That won't work at all, with you just _walking _through the doorway. Uh-uh."

"Whadya mean?" Uryu asked angrily. "You were the one who told me to go through the door in the first place!"

"Tee-hee!" Ukitake giggled as a giant plop of rain fell to the ground. "I'm late!"

The White Rabbit Ukitake ran through the dorrway as it closed.

Uryu stared at the door in disbelief. Then he got mad.

"HEY! YOU STUPID RABBIT! GET BACK HERE!" he yelled at the closed door. It was then he noticed the rain.

It was not normal rain. It was as big as himself, if not bigger. It was at this point that Uryu started to freak out.

"GAH!" he screamed, running in circles to no avail. The rain just kept falling and falling, and water was rising. It was up to Uryu's ankles...no, his knees...no, his waist...

"I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die," Uryu chanted.

As the water closed over his head, Uryu remembered something: he could swim.

NO FRICKIN' DUH URYU!

Swimming to the surface, Uryu saw that it had stopped raining. But now the walls of the room had fallen away, and Uryu was in the middle of an ocean.

"Help? Somebody?" he called out.

Suddenly, Uryu heard a humming sort of noise. As the waves rose and fell, he managed to make out the outline of a figure in the distance.

"Thank you! Finally! Someone!" he sighed in relief, and swam over to the person.

It was a small boy, younger than Uryu, who had black hair and a timid face.

"Hi," Uryu said cautiously, making the boy jump.

"Eep!" he shrieked, turning to look at Uryu. "Oh, hello there! Who are you?"

"I'm Uryu," Uryu said.

"Hanatoro," the boy smiled.

"Do you know the way back to shore?" Uryu asked. He was getting pretty darn tired.

"Oh, yes! Follow me!" Hanatoro started swimming away. Following him, Uryu hoped against hope that this 'Hanatoro' wasn't gay.

* * *

**There! Done! Yeah, it sucks, and it's not really that funny, so I'm really sorry about that! I was really just trying to progress the story along. for those who didn't know:**

**Alice: Uryu**

**White Rabbit: Ukitake**

**Mouse: Hanatoro**

**Apologies if I spelled Hanatoro's name wrong. Please review!**


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